What the Hell am I doing?

It seems that all I want to do lately is sleep. I know it's depression setting in again, but just can't get up and do something about it. A few years ago it got really bad and for the first time I spoke to a Dr. about it - I would wake up sweating from dreams of hanging myself over my closet door.

I've suffered from depression since as far back as I can remember. I've been too embarrassed to talk about it because of the fear that people will look down on me. Sometimes I think I should have been an actress because I've become so good at hiding it from even my closest friends. When I have to, I can go through all of the smiling and normalcy but on the inside I'm crying all the time.